Beautifully Broken
by Unknown76
Summary: Life changes, people live and people die. For the Cullen family, death has come to often. Now, one must return to guide another on their way. A family left in turmoil, and a Mother left with guilt and a secret she needs to let go of.
1. And the first heart breaks

Jasper pushed his blonde hair from his eyes. Staring through the window, watching her sleep, afraid to walk in. He wasn't sure that his presence would wake her, Alice had always slept peacefully. He knew that they had her on some strong medication right now, so she was going to be out for awhile. He just knew that where she was, what she was going through, was his fault, and he couldn't forgive himself for that.

He looked at her and sighed. How was he standing and she was laying there, he body half bandaged. She had already gone through enough, and though he was just trying to get her to the hospital when it happened, it didn't matter. She already was going through enough, he should have paid attention. He should have seen the car coming.

But he hadn't.

The car had come out of no where, so he thought. The reality was, Alice was bent over in pain, and he had reached over to grab her hand for comfort. He looked away for just a second, when the semi truck moved over a little, but his lack of steering didn't help. The semi bumped them and they were sent into on coming traffic. He didn't have time to react when the Explorer hit them head on.

Alice was in Stage 3 of ovarian cancer. She was so young, and it had killed him to watch her go through it. He would never forget the day that they found out. She was at work, when she broke out into a cold sweat. Alice's secretary walked in to find her curled up in a ball, crying, her clothes dripping in sweat. She called 911 immediately.

They found the tumor wrapped around her uterus and ovaries. The cancer had spread into her kidneys. They told her chances were slim, but Alice didn't give up. She didn't believe it was her time. She fought with everything that she was. They had been taking her to chemo once a week, and she seemed to be responding. But, that night, Alice woke up, throwing up massive amounts of blood. Jasper didn't want to wait for an ambulance. He carried her to the Volvo, and decided to drive her himself.

She had insisted that she was fine. It was like her to be strong for him. She was always that way. She never wavered. When she had gotten pregnant and given birth to their baby girl, Jessica, she didn't even scream during delivery. Let it be known, that she had Jessica naturally. Jasper adored that baby girl, just as much as he loved Alice.

He looked around the hallways. He didn't see any sign of his family or friends. He was sure that he had called them. Rosalie and Emmett were taking care of Jessica. They had been great, ever since Alice was diagnosed. They had volunteered to move in, and he didn't have the will to protest. He needed them. He needed help.

Alice stirred. He looked through the window, and felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. He needed to walk in there, he needed to hold her hand. Yet, he was ashamed.

He walked away. He would be the first to tell you he was a coward. Only, he wanted time to feel sorry for what he had done, before Alice would tell him that it was all okay. He knew it wasn't.

He did a single lap around the floor, only to find Esme sitting at Alice's bedside with Carlisle pacing around the room. Neither turned to look at him when he walked into the room. They didn't move, they pretended like he didn't exist. He understood, they were angry. They had every right to be. What had he done?

"How is she," he asked. They didn't move. They didn't respond. It was as if they didn't hear what he was saying. The reality was, they didn't. Only he didn't know it. I took a deep breathe and walked into the room.

"They can't hear you," I said as calmly as possible. I didn't want to scare him.

He turned and looked at me. He rubbed his eyes.

"You aren't seeing things, I am here. You can see me Jasper."

"No," he panicked, "I can't. You are dead. I watched you die. You are dead."

It was true. He had watched me die. He and everyone else in my family had watched me die over two years ago. I was fourteen. We were all in the back yard having a family barbeque, and I had gotten angry over my Dad not letting me have friends over. I walked too close, and was set on fire by a firecracker. The burns, well they covered 80% of my body. They didn't kill me. The infections that followed did. My family never left my side. I died on July 11th.

"Uncle Jasper, I am dead. And you aren't going crazy. I am right here. You can see me. I am here to help you."

He lost it. He was standing in front of my Grandfather, Carlisle, waving his hands, and screaming, "I am sorry, I am so sorry. I am right here. You know I am right here. Please don't be mad, please."

I stood there, and let him. I couldn't imagine how hard this was for him. There had been no one there to protect me, no one there to get me through.

I had seen the accident and I had asked to come back, to help him.

"I am not crazy... I am not crazy," he kept repeating.

He was sitting on the edge of Alice's bed, holding her hand, a mess of tears.

"Uncle Jasper, you aren't crazy. I am here to help you. I love you."

My Grandmother, Esme looked at Alice, and started to cry.

"Esme, she's going to make it, she's going to be fine. We aren't going to lose her yet," Carlisle reassured her. She leaned over and kissed Alice's hand.

"Its not that, its... I mean, how are we going to tell her that Jasper is gone? How am I supposed to take her heart and break it even more," Esme cried, "She was already so concerned about Jessica, what was going to happen when she was gone. Now, that poor baby is going to loose both her parents. How am I supposed to tell them both this?"

We both watched as Carlisle walked around and rubbed her back.

"I am not dead, I am right here," Jasper yelled. The only person who heard him was me. I wanted to comfort him, but I knew that it would come in his own time.

We all heard the door open. Everyone but me turned to see who was walking in. I knew who it was. I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe. I could feel them. There was nothing like their presence. I smiled, and resisted the urge to cry. I felt my mother pass right through me walking to Alice's bedside. She was instantly wrapping Esme in her arms. Carlisle walked over to my father and set his hand on my fathers shoulder.

"Edward, my boy," he calmly said, "I am so glad you are here."

My father wrapped his father up in his arms. He held his father as he cried. I reached out, and held my fathers face in my hand. I knew he could feel me there.

"This is insane, its a bad dream, that's what it is," Jasper screamed at me. He walked over to me, placing his hands firmly on my shoulders, and turning me to face him, "I love you kiddo, but I have to wake up from this dream now. I have to. Alice, Jessica... they both need me."

"I feel like Jasper is with Nessie," my mother said, "At least they will have each other."

She was hoping to bring them all comfort.

I felt the tears running down my cheeks. I didn't even know that I could cry. I swallowed air and looked at my uncle. He was a mess. I wasn't doing my job. I was loosing focus.

"I am sorry Uncle Jaz, this isn't a dream. I wish I wasn't here. But you are gone. I am sorry. Uncle Jasper, you are gone. I am here to help you move on."

"No," he protested.

He was in tears as he fell into my arms. I looked around the room. No one could see us, but I could see them all. It had been years since I had seen my parents. This wasn't going to be easy.

"We don't have to leave today. I am here to help you move on, get closure, and see that everything is going to be alright," I whispered.

"Jessica," he said, "I have to see my little girl."


	2. Little Girls Laughs

(Rosalies POV)

She's 10, She's 10, I kept telling myself. I watched her dance across the kitchen floor, even though I had asked her to not do that. She didn't seem to listen, and knowing what was coming, I didn't have it in me to tell her to stop. I wanted to watch her be carefree for just a few more minutes. Jessica had been through enough, she was only 10, I had to keep that in mind. Yet, anyone who knew me, well they knew that I wasn't known for my patience.

I sat on the couch thumbing through the pages of People magazine, not noticing what was flipping past me. My feet hurt from my incessant need to wear five inch heels, but they made my legs look good. Hell, they made them look great.

"Aunt Rose," Jessica yelled. I looked over and she had bit it. My lovely niece was laying on her back on the floor. I sighed. I should have stopped her. I set down the magazine and got up to help her. I almost wanted to laugh. Her long blonde hair blanketed the floor. She was laughing.

When I reached her, she was laughing. I saw Emmett standing in the hallway, bent over laughing at her. I smiled.

"What happened kiddo," I asked. I reached out my hand and helped her stand up.

Jessica was always happy. She was always bubbly and smiling, laughing. She looked exactly like her father. Her blonde hair, her jaw line, his nose. She was tall and had the attitude of her mother. She was innocent and carefree. She was an angel.

"I slipped and fell," she laughed.

She wrapped her arms around my waist. I closed my eyes, I wanted to stay in this moment forever.

Emmett walked over and gave me a kiss.

"Uncle Emmett, Aunt Rose, can we go to the movies? I know you hate the movies, but the new Shrek came out, and I really want to go see it," she pleaded.

I smiled. That was the reason that she was hugging me. She could have asked me for anything today, and I would have given it to her.

"Shrek," Emmett sighed, "Really Jessie. I mean can't you pick a decent movie."

She unwrapped her arms from around my waist and looked at her Uncle. Her hands found their way to her hips and she developed her sarcastic attitude stance like it was second nature.

"Uncle Emmett, I could have picked a chick flick," she laughed.

He smacked her on her bottom, and she ran out of the kitchen. It was her cue to get ready. I took two steps forward and fell into my husbands arms. He wrapped me up in one of his bear hugs, and kissed the top of my head.

"What are we supposed to tell her," I cried, "I mean how long do we keep acting like nothing is going on? Really Emmett, that poor little kid."

He closed his hug tighter around me.

"I know, I know baby. We just have to keep her focused. Wait until we know what is going on. That kid has enough to go through," he whispered.

I broke free from his grasp. I looked up at him. He reached his hand down and wiped away my tears. The comfort of his hand, his love, made me feel somewhat at peace.

"Rose, I know that this is breaking your heart. I get that. I know that your brother is lying in a morgue, and that is killing you. But you are doing what is best for your family by taking care of her right now," he continued.

I knew he was right. I loved my brother, and I knew that this is where I needed to be. I just was having trouble keeping my head held high, as I felt weak. I wanted to fall apart, I wanted to grieve. I just knew that it wasn't a possibility.

No one would believe that I wanted to feel anything anyways.

I had always been perceived as being cold. People thought that I had no feelings. I did, I always have. I have just never seen the use of showing them. It doesn't help, it doesn't make a difference to anyone. Feelings are forgotten, but the way you made people feel will always be remembered. I never wanted to make people feel like their feelings were less than they were. I didn't want to always speak, to express myself. My feelings were mine.

Yet, here I was, standing in the shadow of emotions that I could no longer hold in. It was the one time in my life where I had to hold them in, but it was the one time when I didn't know if I could.

"I love you," I whispered to Emmett.

Jessica came barrelling into the kitchen. She was dressed in a mismatching skirt and dress. Jessica definitely have her own taste.

"What's with the tears," she asked.

"Your Aunt tripped in her heels," Emmett chimed in.

She laughed and bent down to look at my feet. I felt her cold little hands rubbing my ankles.

"Will you wear something thats not heels to the movies then," she asked me, "I don't want you to get hurt."

"Sure," I said without thinking. Emmett laughed. I had never worn anything below three inches in the time that we had been married. He didn't think I would know how to walk.

Jessica started to unbuckle my straps, and I felt her assisting me in removing my feet. She was laughing, "Oh Aunt Rose, you are so silly."

She ran off with my heels to grab me a pair of flip flops, innocence and laughter filling the air. I would be thankful for however long that would last.


	3. Pink Walls

(Nessies POV)

I watched my Uncle. He stood in the archway watching Jessica. She had bounced down the hallway in her mismatched outfit, her hair bouncing perfectly off of her back, her eyes sparkling like the sun. She was laughing as she opened the front hallway closet and pulled out her mothers yellow flip flops.

"Aunt Rose," she yelled, "I have the perfect shoes."

Rosalie didn't wear flip flops. I laughed. We both watched her carry the flip flops into the kitchen and set them down in front of Rosalie. We watched Rose's face grow pale and everyone waited for the refusal to slide her perfectly pedicured feet into someone elses shoes, let alone them being flip flops. Yet, Rose didn't say a word, she just smiled and slid her feet into the shoes.

"Can we go now, please," Jessica pleaded.

Emmett grabbed the keys from the counter and headed to the back door. Jessica headed out and they both followed.

Jasper turned to me and with no emotion said, "They must not have told her."

"They haven't," I replied, "They don't want to tell her yet. Not until they know what is going to happen with Alice. It's easier to tell her everything at once."

He sighed. I stared. Jasper had been in the Army. I remember when I was seen and he had just come back from a trip to Japan. He walked in with this big green bag and set it down inside the door. I was walking down the stairs, and started running when I saw him.

"Kiddo," he said wrapping me up in his arms, "I missed you kiddo."

"What did you bring me," I innocently asked.

He looked around with a sly look on his face, he was up to something. I was seven, I laughed as he said, "Bring you something, what would I bring you?"

He had reached one of his hands over and opened the big green bag and had pulled out a doll. He set me down and handed it to me. The doll was small, had long blonde hair, and was dressed in a mismatched outfit, green pants and a yellow dress. I carried that doll with me every day for two years.

Jasper was an army man, but when it came to kids, he was a softy. The only two little girls he had ever had in his life were me and Jessica. It was hard to imagine that he could love anyone more than me, but he did. I couldn't be mad, Jessica was his own. I loved that he loved her. At the same time, it broke my heart that I was bringing him to say his goodbyes. He needed to find some sort of peace.

He walked through the house, running his fingers along every picture, exploring every room. He stood in front of Jessica's room, staring at the pink walls and the toys that littered the floor.

"I am never going to get to walk her down the isle, I am never going to see her have kids of her own. She's never..."

His voice trailed off. He covered his face with hands.

"It's going to be okay, she's going to know that you are with her all the time," I assured him.

He slid down the wall and stared into space.

"I remember when you died. Your parents feel apart," he said softly, "I watched your father become less than who he was, I watched your mother die inside. I can't imagine what it is going to be like for her. She's a kid. She's a kid Nessie, and she's going to lose both her parents."

I walked over and sat in front of him.

"Uncle Jasper, she's your kid. That makes her an amazing kid. She's stronger than you think."

He looked at me. The man looked like a twelve year old boy who had lot a baseball game.

"I didn't prepare her for this," he insisted.

I placed my hand on his knee, "You did prepare her for this. You prepared her to live, and to be strong. You prepared her to be amazing. You prepared her for things bigger than you realize."

There were a million things that I wished that I could tell him, but I knew that I couldn't. I knew that there were things that he would have to realize in time. My job was simple, guide him to the other side with the knowledge that his little girl would be okay. Staring at him, I wondered, with the love that he had for her, would that ever be possible?


	4. Alice Stirs

(Bellas POV)

Alice stirred. She hadn't really made much movement in the past few hours. I had assured Edward, Esme, and Carlisle that I would contact them if there was any change. It took me forever to convince them that I would be fine sitting with Alice, that they could run and get something to eat. I told them just to bring me back a sandwich, I was hungry.

Though, I didn't want to eat.

The hospital smelled like bleach and imitation beef product. Seriously, it stunk. I understood the need for sterile, but sterile didn't seem to ever smell good.

Alice stirred again. I looked up as I heard her in a faint whisper call out his name, "Jasper."

Her voice trailed off. She was clearly still out of it. I was hoping that it would be that way for awhile. I didn't want to have to tell her anything. I wanted her to be okay. Alice had been through enough, and anything else would just send her over the edge. I wanted her to stay strong for Jessica. Jessica was going to need her mother right now.

My heart hurt. Only the way that it hurt didn't matter. It was something that I would take to my grave now. I couldn't even think about it. It didn't make a difference. Jasper was gone. Alice would soon be gone. The only person that I would hurt would be Edward. I couldn't do that.

My blackberry vibrated in my pocket.

I pulled it out and looked down. Edward wanted to ask me what kind of sandwhich I wanted. I don't know why he would ask. I always ate the same thing, Turkey, Provolone, and Avacado on Sourdough. I texted him back and put my phone away. I wanted to think. My phone wouldn't make me think. It was more like an electronic leash, and I felt suffocated by it. I hated it.

I stood up and walked over to pour myself a glass of water. I hadn't set foot in a hospital since Nessie died. I hated hospitals. I hated the death that lingered. I hated the smell. I hated knowing that I couldn't save my baby girl, and somewhere in this hospital, her soul had escaped and she was lost to me. I took a sip of water and felt the tears start to roll down slowly.

"Jasper..."

She was speaking again. I walked out of the room to go get the nurse.

I stood outside as they checked her. I texted everyone to let them know that Alice was coming too.

I stared through the window, as the doctor checked her vitals. I could see her tiny eyes opening. She seemed to be scared, there were no familiar faces staring at her. I walked into the room. Her eyes caught my presence, and she seemed to relax.

"It's gonna be okay Alice, I am here," I said calmly. She smiled at me.

"Where's Jasper," she asked.

I didn't know what to say? What do you say when you have to tell someone that the love of her life is gone? How do you tell her that he isn't coming back? How do you take all of that away? I didn't know if I could.

"Alice, we need to take some tests, make sure you are okay," the doctor said, "Mrs. Cullen will you come back later?"

"Ofcourse," I replied.

I looked at Alice and smiled. The doctor had saved me for a second. I would take that second and run.


	5. I knew

(Alices POV)

I could hear the car screaching down the road. It was all that rang through my brain. It was as if I was still in the car, bent over and screaming in pain. I could see him out of the corner of my eye. The softness and then the horror in his eyes. He was scared. I could see that. I was scared. I remember seeing him fly into the steering wheel, and in an instant, he was gone.

I opened my eyes to the dark and empty room? The sound of the machines filled the room, and I could see a face through the window. There was Bella, standing there, staring at me, as if she was in pain. I opened my mouth, and felt something gagging in my throat. Bella came running in as I struggled.

"Alice, breathe, it's all going to be okay," she said softly. I never heard Bella yell, she was always so soothing.

I looked at her and started to cry. I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks. I wanted Jasper. Oh goodness, where was Jasper? I started to panic.

That's when I felt the warmth come over me and my eyes close again.

Jessica. She was standing there in a little white dress holding her fathers hand walking into a light.

It was then I knew. Jasper was gone.

I fell deeper into sleep. I wanted to stay there.


	6. Bella Can't forget

(Bella POV)

I found my way down to the hospital lobby, sat in a chair, and cried. I couldn't face anyone, especially Alice. I knew that everyone had found their way back to the hospital. They were all in with Alice. I needed to breathe. Edward had offered to join me, but I couldnt have him near me. I needed to break, and he wouldnt understand the extent of my pain.

I sat in a chair, leaned forward and buried my face in my hands. Tears just started to gush out of me like a gyser in Yellowstone. I felt my heart break. I hadn't felt like this since Nessie died. I hadn't felt this alone.

It was one night, he shouldn't have had this effect on me. But he never fell out of my heart.

I was twenty one. Edward and I had broken up for a moment. It was literally a moment. But what happened would destroy so many lives. So, I lived with it so deep in my heart, so hidden. I needed to keep it there. I needed my heart to forget.

I was broken when Edward walked out on me. I loved him more than anything in my life. He walked away from me and left me standing there, while he left with his pride.

I was upset, I was scared, I was alone. I needed to run. So, I did.

In the heat of any moment, you can forget things. You can get lost in love. You can get lost in hate. I got lost in me.

I walked for what seemed like minutes, but as the day kissed the night, I realized that I had walked for hours. I also realized that I had left home without any money and had no idea how to follow the twists and turns back home. I sat on the corner of the street and started to cry again,

"Bella,"I heard someone yell. I looked around and no one was there. I started to stand, afraid of who would come out of the woodwork. There was no one that I had any desire to see. I stumbled over the corner, when I felt someones cold hands grab me, to steady me. Out of fear, I screamed.

"Bella, its ok, its me, Jasper, its okay Bella," he whispered as I fell back in his arms. I looked up and saw his eyes staring at me. I collapsed into his arms.

I don't remember getting home, just remember listening to Muse play on the radio.

I woke up to the darkness. I jumped, scared of where I was. I couldn't see, I couldn't move. I didn't notice that he was standing in the doorway watching me.

"You are okay Bella," he said, "I didn't have a key to take you to your house so I just brought you to mine."

"Jasper," I reponded, "He left me, he left me Jasper."

And for the third time that night, I broke down into tears. He walked over and sat beside me. I fell over and right into his arms.

"Bella, are you okay," I heard. I snapped back to reality, to see Angela standing in front of me.

I swallowed air and looked up at her.

"You aren't okay," she said, "Bella what can I do to help?"

I shook my head and stared at her. As much as I wanted words to come out, nothing would. She knelt in front of me, and I leaned into her and continued to cry.


	7. Daddy's Princess

We walked out of Shrek. I don't know how I managed to sit through a cartoon and these awful flip flops, but I did it. After all, she was happy, and right now Jessica was all that mattered. She was happy and tired. Emmett had her safely in his arms. I was praying that she would sleep for awhile.

"Aunt Rose," she whispered, "I am gonna live in a castle one day. My Dad says that I am a princess."

"You are a princess," Emmett responded. He placed his hand on the back of her head and she smiled.

"Is Aunt Rose your princess," she asks.

"Yes," he says.

"But there is no castle. You need to get Aunt Rose a castle," she protests.

"I know," he smiled. She was out. It was taking everything I was not to cry. She was a princess and she deserved to be treated like one. She would have a castle one day, Emmett and I would see sure to that.

I watched as he laid her in the back seat. Jessica instantly curled up in a ball. She was out like a light.

Emmett came over to me and brushed my blonde hair out of my eyes. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. His soft lips felt comfortable. I felt at ease, as I leaned forward and allowed my body to fall into his arms. His hand stroked my back.

"Are you in need of a nap too?"

Ever the perpetual smart ass. It was a part of him that I loved desperately. He knew just what to say to make me feel whole. He knew just what to say to make me feel at ease.

"I can't keep lying to her Emmett, we have to tell her," I managed to force out as I swallowed the air that surrounded me.

"We agreed Rose, we would let Alice tell her. I mean, this kid has been through enough. And she's going to keep going through more. I know, I get it... I don't like lying to her, but we don't have the right to tell her."

"Well then Emmett, you drop me at the hospital, because my sister and I are going to have a talk," I stated. The look on his face told me that he understood.

"Okay Rose," he replied.

We drove in silence so as to not wake Jessica. She was sound asleep in the back seat of the car. I watched her in the rearview. I couldn't help but see Jasper in her, in every bit of her at that moment. At the same time she reminded of Nessie. Oh sweet Nessie. My family had definitely experienced enough pain in these past few months. It killed me.

We pulled up into the hospital parking lot. Emmett looked at me.

"Rose, are you sure you wanna do this," he asked me softly. We heard Jessica moving in the back seat. I turned to see her roll over and her little bottom now sticking in the air.

_My Daddy says I am a princess, _rang in my head. I fought back tears. I leaned forward and kissed Emmett. Without hesitation, I got out of that car. I needed to see Alice.


End file.
